I come from a long line of workaholics. We simply do not know how to relax. I have an uncle who has never been on a vacation. I think I've seen him walk through a park once.
I've discovered that one can't approach relaxing like most other things. How do I break this task down into mini-tasks? How much time should I allot to this? What's appropriate attire?
I've tried all that and it didn't work. I ended up micromanaging about the proper way to position oneself on a picnic blanket. Cross-legged or legs outstretched? Should I lean back? Sit forward? Is it impolite to lie down? Shoes off or on? Is it okay to sit on someone else's blanket or should I stick to my own? I worry that people will recognize my repertoire of stiff relaxation poses and know right away: This doesn't come naturally to me.
Whenever we drive past a park, I'll look at the people there. See them reading on park benches, strolling in pairs. Casual circles formed in the tall green grass, bikes and bags lying careless alongside.
I don't know how they do it.